It being the same thing I've done with journals for as long as I can remember. Write one day, write the next, maybe write the next, and.... nothing. After a long hiatus the next entry normally begins with me bumbling over how I always do this, how I shouldn't, how this, how that.
Not this time! I've been trying this new thing where I don't apologize for every. single. thing.
I'd like to think this is me growing up. Accepting who I am. Realizing there are things I can change (saying "sorry!" to everything) and things that may never change (writing consistently).
I recently realized that I'm crazy afraid of failure. It may sound ridiculous, because it is, but I think it's a big reason why it's hard for me to stay committed to writing. I'm afraid that it's not good enough, not perfect. Then I have to ask myself- who is demanding this 'perfection' of me? Turns out it's really just the (wo)man in the mirror.
I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be the only thing holding me back.
I want to dream. I want to write. I want to learn another language. I want to capture beautiful moments. I want to dance. I want to feel full and alive. And honestly, I want to fail. To fail often and fail big. Failing will mean I've tried. And if I've put my heart into something- well, I shouldn't view that as failure. Not at all.
